THIRD HOSHI-TO-MORI INTERNATIONAL TANKA CONTEST -- 2001 Commentary by James Kirkup "The Winds" is a wonderful theme for poetry. It has produced many great works, most of them of considerable length, like Shelley's "Ode to the West Wind". It is also one of the most challenging and difficult subjects for poetry, because the wind is a huge natural force. So it is natural to half--expect the poet to compose a long poem, one large enough to contain the wind's immense force. Therefore the challenge to a tanka poet, who has only 31 syllables, is a very serious one. How can he possibly compress what is uncompressible, and by its very nature boundless? That is where the genius of the true tanka poet asserts itself. There is ample proof that it is possible to compose a true tanka on this vast subject, as we can see from poems written in the most ancient times in Japanese culture. Since those remote literary eras, thousands of tanka have been written successfully capturing the spirit of all kinds of winds -- north, south, east, west; powerful, gentle, playful, stormy; and the winds that personify the four seasons in nature. This ability to evoke the soul of the wind can be found even in the most modern Japanese poets. Here is a good example of "autumn wind" from the work of the great contemporary tanka poet, Fumi Saito, now aged 92: In the autumn wind-- path to Reisenji Temple-- the pampas grasses are all withered now, can no longer fight against the wind. (Translated by James Kirkup & Tamaki Makoto) 　IIn this beautiful, austere tanka, the poet devoted the whole poem to the nature of the autumn wind, and to its effects upon surrounding nature. Nothing intimately personal enters the tanka. So we are able to appreciate the full beauty of its sound, its rhythm and its music of words. The name, "Reisenji Temple" is of special importance in providing sounds and images that are both calm and mournful at the heart of the tanka It is amazing that such a short poem can contain so much natural visual beauty, and such elemental violence, ending on such a regretful, tragic note. It is an example of the highest kind of poetic creation, against which I measured the standard of the Hoshi-to-mori Tanka Contest entries. 　There is one basic difficulty that all the entries were able to surmount; how to write a verse of 5,7,5,7 and 7 syllables. All were correctly formed. However, it is not enough just to use 31 syllables: the writer must know how to avoid the stiffness of mere mechanical number-counting, and impose upon the strictness of the form the fluency and naturalness of supple rhythm. That is the first important step, to give the formal tanka a human voice. Musical charm and sensitive choice of vocabulary come next, without which even a smoothly-flowing correct tanka is lifeless. Finally, the brief form of the tanka requires compression and clarity of thought nad an internal logic in the dramatic development of a succession of images. I am pleased to say that in general the standard of tanka in this contest is improving all the time. This year, the required image of the wind is incorporated in all fo them, more or less successfully. The various winds are often related to tempests in human emotions. But unfortunately, these emotions are too conventional, and too weak to deserve comparison with the individual character of the writer's chosen wind. 　For this reason, I did not feel that any entry was yet worthy of the Grand Prize. One day in the near future, I am sure that there will be a great tanka emerging from this unique contest, one great enough to be awarded a very special prise. So I selected four tanka -- three prize winners, and one runner-up. Let me begin with the runner-up: I awarded a "Special Mention" to -- nothing but the wind creaking empty rocking chairs on the veranda my heart remembers nothing but the echo of your voice. 　This tanka starts strongly, but the last two lines are rather weakly sentimental. The first three lines provide a vivid image and a typical wind-created sound of creaking rocking chairs on a veranda. The writer should have reinforced that first strong image instead of diluting it with a vague personal emotion. Another good point -- the rhythmic repetition of the word "nothing" is admirable: one of the oldest and best techniques of all kinds of poetry consists in the repetition of key words. 　For Third Prize I chose this charmingly visual tanks: in the smooth sunlight falling upon the slight winds the fine yellow leaves all around Rodin's Thinker brushing his eternal thought. 　The best point in this tanka is the contrast between the bronze statue by Rodin and the gentle, delicate autumn leaves falling around and upon it. However, the expressions "smooth sunlight" and "slight winds" are not satisfactory, though they seem to have been carefully chosen -- perhaps too carefully, thus limiting the possibility of sudden inspiration. Here they give the impression of incorrect English. 　The Second Prize I awarded to a tanka that introduces the famous Santa Ana wind. I was glad to see a contestant using the poetic and almost religious feeling in the proper name to lend both deep emotion and lyrical sound to the line: At your departure the Santa Ana ariived bringing bright moonlight. Like your whispers in the wind, my tears will be forgotten. 　This is another example of a strong beginning and a weak conclusion. However, the emotion in the last two lines is genuine. After the powerful word "moonlight", we may be hoping for something more dramatic, and less novellettish. Here is the tanka I chose for the First Prize: Strong winds from the sea have blown these white gulls inland to this old graveyard. They cry among the headstones as if searching for your name. 　In this tanka, I admire the well-sustained image of the wind that sweeps through the whole verse, and its stormy, tragic music is echoed in the cries of the gulls, which in turn become in our imaginations the muted weeping of someone seeking for a lost love, as well as for a lost name, that perhaps does not even exist on the time-worn, weather-worn tombstone. The progression of wind images is perfect, and the final emotional line is well-controlled. It is full of rhythm and musicality. The whole tanka is possessed by the stipulated theme, the wind, making it convincing, and very moving. 　Finally, I wish that the other writers of these tanka had tried hard to evoke the spirit of the wind rather than its passing effects upon human emotions, which often sound rather banal in cold print. But all these works were brave efforts and many of them show definitie promise, which I hope to see realized in future contests of this nature. Andorra. 13 April 2001 Go to the award of the 3rd contest Go to the top Copyright(C)2001 Hoshi-to-Mori, All Rights Reserved.